One of the farms that I like to shop at has a collie that runs up and barks like crazy when you get out of your vehicle. He, or she, will keep it up as long as you’re outside, though the second you step into the store s/he shuts up and walks away. If you stop walking, it will stop barking, but if you bend down to pet or talk to it, the barking starts up again (and this dog is exceptionally loud).

Since it will rush up to about 1 foot away and then stop, but continuously barks, all you have to do is totally ignore it and walk into the store. And all I can think of is that scene from Much Ado About Nothing.

Dogberry: Are you good men and true?

All: Yea.

Dogberry: Being chosen for the Prince’s watch. This is your charge: You are to bid any man stand, in the prince’s name.

Francis Seacole: How if a’ will not stand?

Dogberry: Why, then take no note of him, but let him go.

Verges: If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince’s subjects.

Dogberry: True. and we are to meddle with none but the prince’s subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets.

George Seacole: We will rather sleep than talk.

Dogberry: Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend.

“How if he will not stand?” “Then take no note of him and let him go.”

If you don’t stop and run away when the dog starts barking, then obviously you’re not an intruder and should be allowed to roam at will. Or something like that.

I think Michael Keaton’s version of this scene is the funniest version out there, but for some reason, no one has put it on YouTube. To get an idea of his version of Dogberry, though, there is this compilation of EVERY OTHER DOGBERRY SCENE IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE except this one. Which is the funniest of his scenes, so WTH?