In Andrew Peterson’s On The Edge of The Dark Sea of Darkness, Janner, Tink, and Leeli Igiby live under the oppression of the horrible Fangs of Dang- lizard-like creatures who delight in torturing humans, and in eating maggotloaf and other such culinary treats. These bad boys work for Gnag the Nameless, who (whom?) the book refers to as a nameless evil… Yeah, you can see why I liked it from the start.

Unfortunately, the Igiby children manage to draw an undue amount of attention to themselves, and in order to avoid death or enslavement, they, along with their one legged ex-pirate grandfather, and sensible mother, have to escape.

The book is interesting from the start, but mainly because of the humor, which is a cross between middle school boy humor (aka: booger jokes), and Terry Pratchett. It’s an odd mix, but I love it. The majority of the book is almost like back story, however, and doesn’t really pick up the pace until the final third of the book. It’s well worth the read, but is absolutely essential if you plan to read the much more active book 2. At the very least, the secondary characters and the humorous footnotes should keep you entertained until you reach the exciting bits.

This is a middle grade fantasy, so if you’re expecting Robert Jordan, give this a miss. If you like both Narnia and Terry Pratchett, this may be worth your while.

And it is a funny book, both for the reasons it was meant to be, and for clever little turns of phrases that manage to crack me up though I can’t remember them by the time I’m near a computer and hubby wouldn’t get it so… Anyway.

I have this thing about classics. I feel like I have to read each and every one of them at some point in time just so that I know what I’m missing by reading all my modern literature (even when by “modern” I mean the 1920′s, or even Jane Austen). I suppose it’s also a point of pride for me, having been one of the only half dozen or so in my English classes who actually understood Shakespeare (as well as you can without learning much about that time period), and one of the only two who actually liked Shakespeare.

The problem with some of these books, is that unless you’re a well versed historian (rather than someone who’s just into history), calling them classics is like a layman referring to the Hippocratic Oath as the end all be all of ethics. It may very well be, but we’ll never know unless we learn to read it in its original greek, and study all of its incarnations since then (cuz, really, if our doctors used the original Oath? A lot of things would be veeery different).

Without having the very basic understanding that the intended readers had, we’re just going to miss things. I could probably learn to understand Jonathan Wild in all it’s wonderful tricks, and layers, and hidden meanings. It would take me years, but I could do it.

I could do it, but I don’t want to. It’s bad enough that I’m a procrastinator to start with. With books that I love, I’m too wrapped up in the story to work on my own. With books I don’t love, I just want to get through them and to the end, and so that’s my excuse as well. The dull books don’t wrap up my creative mind the way well written modern novels do, but they give me something to latch on to in their own way.

Books are my addiction, and just like a drug addict, even the bad ones give me what I think I need. I just need to work on my gardening so I can share the homegrown.

Of the three books, one I felt was so bad that it was painful to read. The story line and characters felt weak and a little too cardboard. The writing was mediocre at best.

Another, I thought the setting was quite good, and the story was good. However, the pacing was pathetic, staying more or less the same throughout the whole book. Too much information was given to actually drive up the tension, and I just didn’t care about any of the characters. It was set in the court of Catherine de Medici, and the only character I cared about was her daughter who I believe was meant to only facilitate the plot. All of the mains were… well, I couldn’t care less. I was more interested to see if the hero became truly friends with Henry de Guise than if he hooked up with the girl. On top of that, the author used “became aware” “caused her to recollect”, and other such annoying phrases to turn subjects and info-dump.

And the third? Actually not bad. It was a little touch and go in the beginning. One good page followed by a bad one. The bad guy was evil enough to be terrifying, yet had a streak of goodness (or perhaps just gratitude) strong enough to make you wonder if he couldn’t be redeemed. Of course, you know he won’t be since writing a scene like that is so delicate only a pro could truly pull it off- but you sense that it could happen. The characters weren’t developed enough for my taste. My interest mostly lay in the bad guy and a character who is more or less insignificant in this book, but whom I expect will be the love interest in the second. I liked the cover best out of the three, and it makes me wonder if you really can judge a book by its cover.

Still, what the author did well, she did very well. What she didn’t do well, was acceptable. This is the only book that I felt was worth my time reading and the cost of buying it remaindered. However, it was not worth my investing the cash to buy book 2 new.

Now, all three of these authors have quite the career writing, and so I make allowances for time constraints in their writing. Obviously, most working writers have to produce a book in a relatively short period of time to keep their editors happy. I still think the industry would be better served as a whole to allow authors sufficient time to perfect each story.

Yes, people like to buy from authors they’re familiar with and like, but if each book published was as strong as it could be, would the consumer not be more inclined to take a chance on an unknown? I know that my fear in purchasing from a new author is “I’ve read so many dreadful books, do I want to take the chance?”, surely that’s how most reader/buyers feel. If editors didn’t rush their authors to keep pumping out books, and instead used the lull to publish other great writers, surely the market would only be improved by this?

Ok, rant over.

Here’s the common denominator in all three of the books. I just didn’t care about the characters. I didn’t feel that any of them were real (except the princess in book 2, and the bad guy in book 3), and I’m not spending my cash on people I don’t care about. I don’t lend money to my co-workers, and I’m not going to pay you to bore me. I don’t have to like your story, but I do have to like the people in it. And stop using lazy phrases!

Oh, and one more thing. Don’t tell me that someone is funny, friendly, or has a cruel streak. I already saw it in their actions and words, I don’t need a nanny telling me what I already know.

I bought Michael A. Stackpole’s novel A Secret Atlas because, well, I’d found his podcast on writing to be the bee’s knees (So what if I’ve been reading a lot of Miss Snark? Go ahead, shoot me with a clue-gun!). In other words, the only writer’s info that I’ve found to be more helpful were Miss Snark herself, and Holly Lisle’s over 100,000 words of free writing articles (links are on the left hand side- don’t ignore the FAQs). So yeah, in the top three. And believe me, there’s a lot to compare it to.

So anyway, I picked it up a few months ago and stuck it in my TBR pile. Last Friday, I picked it up and started reading.

Ok. Nothing special. A little too much narrative, too many POV changes (though always in separate chapters, no hopping), and not enough character building for my taste. That’s not to say that it wasn’t well written, just that it wasn’t to my taste.

So, I push on. After all, I highly respected and appreciated his advice, and so I was going to finish the book and then simply not move on to the sequel.

About half way through, I start getting attached to the characters. Yeah, it’s a lot farther on than it should take, but still. And the plot hasn’t even been fully declared yet, but it’s starting to form. “Good”, I think, “at least I should enjoy the rest of it”.

Last 1/4 of the book things are starting to pick up. Very interesting things are happening, and I’m thinking “Oh no. Now I’ll want to read the sequel. This has obviously started so slow because it should have been a 1500 page book, not three 500+ page books. No, I will be strong. After all, it’s not like this particular character is enough to carry off another whole book for me.”

And then, he does the unthinkable. He kills off my favorite character. The character that I refused to put the book down no matter how bad I had to pee (I mean, sleep/work) if that particular character’s chapter was up next.

And he does it brilliantly.

Son of a beach.

So, yeah. The circumstances of the killing and the hints of how that death will change the world mean that I have to pick up Cartomancy. Gee, thanks Mike! I gotta go shell out more money now.

Now- for those who are unfamiliar with Michael A Stackpole and/or his work, here are a few tidbits.

1) His website is Stormwolf.com – not his name.com

2) I have not signed up for his newsletters yet since I was unaware of their existence.

3) You may have issues with his website. My computer at work freezes up every time I try to load it, yet I have no problems at home. No idea why this is since I use the same browsers here and there.

4) I’ve never read one of his Merlin Bloodstone books, but I did read his MB short story in an anthology that I’ll likely be giving away at some point. It was one of only two stories in the ENTIRE ANTHOLOGY that I actually liked. He has it available for download for $2 in his store. I’ll probably pick up one of the MB books when my TBR pile is shorter.

5) Michael A Stackpole, Holly Lisle, and Miss Snark all have one thing in common (besides being helpful)- they all do that “Short answer: blah blah, Long answer: blah blah blah blah” thing. I don’t know why I think that’s interesting.

Now, I have to go off and listen to several of his podcast episodes again to get that address he wanted postcards sent to. I bought the postcard before I bought the book, and I didn’t address the postcard! Idiot me.

*now taking donations for brain transplants- and thanks Wolf, but I’d rather have a less frightening one*

So what do I do? I hit a used book store, of course!

Picked up Shopaholic Takes Manhattan (hoping her books don’t need to be read in order since I’ve never read any of the other Shopaholic books- but Miss Snark likes them…), Nora Roberts’ Irish Dreams, Piers Anthony’s Firefly- a writer friend says he’s funny in a sarcastic sort of way, 3 of the Wheel of Time series (I always read brother’s copies, and can’t afford to buy the whole series new), A Christmas Carol (only ever read it in school with the school’s copies), Jonathan Wild (looked good), Little Women (would you believe that I’ve never read it before?).

Not too bad for $29. Not great either, though, as I’m used to used books running half this price, but whatever.

I started Victoria Strauss’ The Burning Land last, erm, Friday? Or maybe it was the Friday before? Either way, it was over 500 pages in small type and seemed to take forever. Bless her, I love what she does for authors, both on her blog and on her website, and she’s definitely got writing chops, but show don’t tell! Dang it. 1/3 of the book was excellent. Really sucked you in and made you care about Axane. But Gyalo? Snooze! Why was everything what they had been doing, rather than what they were doing at this moment?

The story was excellent. Really top notch. Not something that I’ve seen before, though I can’t claim to have read very widely in the fantasy genre as my favorite authors tend to have huge series. Robert Jordan? Mercedes Lackey? ‘Nuff said. (Oh, and Terry Pratchet, David Eddings, Stephen Lawhead…)

So, after all that heavy reading, I thought I’d jump on over to something light and fun. I wanted to start on Jenny B Jones’ On The Loose since I want to buy The Big Picture, and OTL is the second book in the series (while TBP is the third). Thing is, the end of The Burning Land was a bit gut churning, and I didn’t want to waste a single moment of Jenny I’m-slightly-nutso Jones’ brilliant humor and wit. So, I picked up another book that my dear, dear friends (CJ & Tracy who run TitleTrakk) dropped on me. Hollywood Nobody by Lisa Samson.

OMG- too good! It started out a wee bit slow. Most good character driven books do, since it takes longer to get to know someone than it does to get tossed into a wild plot. And, at first, I didn’t think that the voice of Scotty (don’t be fooled, she’s a cool *** chick) seemed authentically teenager. About 30 or so pages in, I realized that it’s because the relationship between Scotty (daughter) and Charley (mom) is like a Christianized, clean version of AbFab (Absolutely Fabulous to those not in the know- a champagne guzzling, pot smoking, hippie leftover with designer clothes mother is being raised by a respectable, intelligent, and clean daughter). So Scotty herself isn’t exactly an “authentic” teenager. That’s probably good, because I can’t stomach people in real life, let alone people that I pay to spend time with, who are obsessive over boys, clothes, and body image.

Did I mention that this is Christian YA? And very good too. I wouldn’t claim that Hollywood Nobody is quite in the same class as The Katie Parker Productions, but I definitely see crossover potential for fans of one or the other. And I’ll tell you what- the reveal of Scotty’s father’s secret made me mentally scream “Holy ****!”. Up until that point I wasn’t certain that I wanted to spend the money to pick up the next book in the series (thank goodness it was released in March), but after that reveal? Honey, I have to know what happens next!

And, btw, as long as you’re not easily offended by religious undertones, I highly recommend both A Katie Parker Production series (begins with In Between) and Hollywood Nobody if you’re a fan of YA. Absolutely neither of these is heavy handed at all. I may be giving away Hollywood Nobody in the future- it depends on what I think of the sequel. I’m trying to hang on to certain books in the hopes of having kids that I can introduce to some great literature. Still, if you pester me enough, I may be willing to part with it. But not with my Katie Parker books.

Today, one of the posts (scroll to the second from the bottom, titled “Miss Snark Reprimaded By Snarkling!!!!!!”) was about something that’s been bothering me for a long time. As a reader, I appreciate places that I can get books cheap or free (even temporarily), but as an aspiring novelist, I wanted to support the authors already out there. Therefore, I couldn’t understand why Her Snarkiness continually suggested that we snarklings should pick up books at the library.

You see, my experience with libraries was that you either borrowed books from the library, or donated books to the library. The books they didn’t want would be sold at the library sale once a year. I thought that monetary donations and sales were all for the upkeep of the building and paying of the staff (and utilities). However, a snarkling had asked Miss Snark just such a question and she answered it well.

Miss Snark pointed out that libraries can, and do, purchase books. New. That library books are non-returnable, unlike bookstores. That libraries often purchase multiple copies, and how that’s obviously a benefit of marketing to libraries in addition to finding new readers. E. Dashwood left a comment stating just how many public libraries and college libraries there are, not to mention school libraries. Lets just say that if you sold a single book to each library in the country, you’d be sitting pretty on your royalties.

Ooooh. Now I get it.

Of course, there’s still the question of how to get your book into the library system, but there is no longer guilt associated with borrowing books from the library. And, something to remember when I put together a marketing plan.

It’s not that it’s not well written. Really, it is. Clearly the author is either very gifted, or took the time to truly hone her gift. Or both.

But I just can’t read it. Seriously. There are some subjects that just make me uncomfortable, and without any humor to balance it out, I just can’t read it. It’s not really depressing, just one of those subjects that tends to send me into a spiraling depression or causes me to lash out in anger depending on how it’s presented and how my mood is at the time.

This is not a good book for me.

I hate to do it, really. It’s just not in me to stop reading a book on purpose. When they’re badly written, I push on in the hope that it’ll get better. When they’re well written and I hate reading it? I mean, really? I’d actually prefer reading my shampoo bottles (Hey- they’re the ultimate in fiction and pep talks!). And yes, I actually have three shampoos, plus whatever my husband uses and the samples from hotels.

What it came down to is this. I was trying to rush through the book, so so that I could finish it and move on to the next. Not only am I not enjoying my reading time, but it’s spoiling the time that I spend not reading as well. Do I really have 3 more days to waste feeling miserable? Just because it feels so unholy to not finish reading it?

I only learned to stop reading short stories two or three years ago. In general, I hate short stories. There have been a few that I’ve enjoyed, but they tend to be generally depressing. The ones that I actually did enjoy peeved me off because I’d rather them be full novels. Eventually I learned that I don’t have to read it just because it’s there. It’s hard, but I can just walk away from short stories now.

Novels, it looks like I’m just learning. So, does this mean that I’m maturing as a reader and writer (realizing that my limited time can be spent on more productive or enjoyable things)? Or have I just given in to the dark side?

Anyone else ever put down a book just because you didn’t enjoy it? I’m not counting based on bad writing here. I’m talking story/mood/whatever.

(And no- the book is not The Shadow Of The Lion. That’s what I’m starting instead of Book I Hate.)

Aside from that, anyone wanting to see a piccy of me that was previously not shown online, should head over to my I Feel Like Chatting blog. It’s about two years old, but just loaded up last night.

Also- I finished Redwall a few nights ago, but I’m not going to do a Writer’s Review of it since I can’t think of enough to talk about. I enjoyed it, but was not riveted by it. I believe it was aimed at kids, and I certainly think that kids would love it. So, I’m holding on to my copy for when I actually have some.

I have to say though, I do love the “Sparra” language.

I’m also a few chapters into The Picture Of Dorian Grey. I was fascinated by the character in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, so hubby got the book for me last Christmas. And it took this long to get around to it.

Too many books, maaaaan. Too many.

***update*** I just changed the link to Writers Beware. I keep forgetting about that nifty “link to this post” button.