Archive for the “humor” Category

My husband has an unhealthy obsession with Elmo. I kid you not.

So, anyway, he pulls up this awesome video of Andrea Bocelli singing Elmo to sleep. I love it! Andrea Bocelli has the most incredible voice, and it’s so cute the way he keeps smiling at Elmo.

There’s a better quality video here, but it won’t allow for embedding.

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Here’s a kicker!

Me: Hey, I’m going to make bran muffins tonight.

DH: Whoo. Hoo.

Me: Chocolate chip!

DH: I’m not the one who needs to poop.

Me: No. Good for you. Fiber. (yes, I really talk like this) It’s good for other things too. Good for your heart.

DH: I don’t believe that.

Me: What?

Now tell me. Who, on earth, doesn’t know that fiber is good for your heart and that it’s not just for pooping?

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Since I work second shift, if I want to get out and take a walk, I’d have to get up early to do it. And that ain’t gonna happen! So my only alternatives are aerobics in front of the tv, and using our Gazelle.

I do so hate exercising. Here are the main excuses I give myself.

1. My feet hurt.

Actually, this is a legitimate gripe I have. For some bizarre reason, I can never get my right foot situated comfortably on the Gazelle. It always ends up hurting after 2-3 minutes.

2. But I’m already undressed.

Ok- TMI. Still, I can’t exercise if I’m not wearing comfortable pants and… you guessed it, changing clothes is even more annoying than exercising.

3. My shoes are downstairs.

I generally kick off my shoes the second I walk in the door. However, the Gazelle is upstairs. And yeah… I either don’t want to go down stairs, or I don’t want to go up stairs.

4. I’m hungry/just ate.

Since I’m insulin resistant, I really can’t let my body get to a certain point in hunger. And, of course, you’re not supposed to exercise right after eating. But really, I use that excuse waaaaay too much.

5. I’ll have to wash my hands.

The rubbery coating on the Gazelle’s hand grips always makes my hands smell funny. I’ve actually used this as an excuse.

6. I just took a shower.

I hate sweating! And since you have to shower after you’ve been sweating, I refuse to work out after a shower.

7. Lemme just write this post, oh, look at the time.

Yeah. Funny how “I’m just checking my email” can last 3 or more hours. Until bed time.

8. I don’t want them to get the credit!

Believe it or not, when people encourage me to lose weight/exercise, that’s when I dig in my heels the most. In school, I would only exercise on summer vacation because I hated my gym teacher so much that I was afraid he’d think it was his influence if I lost weight! I’m good with congratulations when I’ve already lost weight, but I hate it when people are supportive before hand.

So what are your best/worst excuses for not exercising?

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