Since it will rush up to about 1 foot away and then stop, but continuously barks, all you have to do is totally ignore it and walk into the store. And all I can think of is that scene from Much Ado About Nothing.

Dogberry: Are you good men and true?

All: Yea.

Dogberry: Being chosen for the Prince’s watch. This is your charge: You are to bid any man stand, in the prince’s name.

Francis Seacole: How if a’ will not stand?

Dogberry: Why, then take no note of him, but let him go.

Verges: If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince’s subjects.

Dogberry: True. and we are to meddle with none but the prince’s subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets.

George Seacole: We will rather sleep than talk.

Dogberry: Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend.

“How if he will not stand?” “Then take no note of him and let him go.”

If you don’t stop and run away when the dog starts barking, then obviously you’re not an intruder and should be allowed to roam at will. Or something like that.

I think Michael Keaton’s version of this scene is the funniest version out there, but for some reason, no one has put it on YouTube. To get an idea of his version of Dogberry, though, there is this compilation of EVERY OTHER DOGBERRY SCENE IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE except this one. Which is the funniest of his scenes, so WTH?

Today started out great, too. Hubs was going out to play with the guys, and I couldn’t stay asleep, so I actually got up at a decent time (1pm). Then, I called dad for some last minute info about a farm store/bent & dent and ended up talking to him for about 20 minutes. He usually answers the phone with “talk to you later, bye” (not literally, but I’m sure he would if he could), so actually chatting with him was awesome.

Then, on my way to said farm store, I passed a charter bus- the company name emblazoned on the back? Chariots of Hire. I’m not joking. Totally made my day.

I got to the farm store and found my second favorite brand of bacon for $1.50 less than I usually pay for it. Then I went to an actual farm and picked up some great pastured meat and offal (and they had sweetbreads! Seriously- it’s almost impossible to find sweetbreads!), and then drove home. And the weather. Was. Gorgeous. Windows down, all the way, baby.

So, and here’s the best part, the weather was still gorgeous when I got home. It’s too early for bees or wasps. The sun was out (no clouds, no rain). Nice breeze. And everyone else is outside taking walks and drives to enjoy the weather. This kind of day is rare enough, but this kind of day on a non-work, non-I-have-to-be-somewhere-right-now weekend day? THEY DON’T EXIST. Except for today. And I got to take advantage of it.

I pulled out my crochet, and a blanket, and plopped myself down under a tree. A nice family walked by and asked me about what I was crocheting, and their adorable little boy stared at me for a while, and a bunch of kids were riding bike and playing basket ball. And then I took my crochet and propped it under my head like a pillow and lay (layed, laid? I always get confused there) there for a bit looking at the sky through the tree branches. And then? I packed it all up and took a walk. Why? Because I wanted to!

It was so nice.

Now, however, I have laundry to do, a carpet to vacuum, food to eat, and instructions on how to cook sweetbreads to look up.

Hope everyone else had a day as lovely as mine!

What’s Going On:

1. I just bought 3 more domains. 2 for niches which are related to regular websites that my friends own, 1 is AffableBooks.com, which will be a site with recommendations for only good books. A bit of description, a bit of review, maybe some sort of rating system- but only good books. It’s not up yet, so I wouldn’t bother typing in the domain. The other two are more likely to be profitable, but if they’re not, at least I can boost up my friends’ sites.

2. One of those niches is related to a personal trainer friend of mine. If you’re interested in exercise video downloads, I recommend checking out TotallyFitWithCarol.com. Carol is made of awesome, and is the mother of two of my best friends- both professional writers (CJ is the author of Bound by Guilt, and her sister Tracy is a freelance magazine writer who also has a column in the new Suzy magazine). I’m trying to get her to set up an affiliate program for her videos. BTW- what I love about her videos is that she shows you multiple ways to do the same exercise, so that people at various levels of fitness and flexibility can participate.

3. I’ve been working my butt off on my Disney site. One of the new posts is about 13k words at this point, and it’s still growing as new search terms show up for it (anything that looks like a question I put up as a Q&A). And you wonder why I never post here anymore?

4. I’ve learned to crochet, and re-learned how to knit. Dad taught me the crochet (family tradition), and YouTube re-taught me how to knit. I’m currently crocheting a bed scarf and knitting a baby blanket.

5. Epic Mickey makes me cuss. The game is fun, but really, really aggravating.

6. I just finished 1 month gluten free. I’m about 1 1/2 weeks back into gluten, and I’ve decided that gluten and I don’t mix very well. Nothing too bad, but a lot of little things, and an overall attitude problem since re-introducing it. Luckily, I don’t seem to have any problems with having it one or two days- it’s the ongoing eating it that’s an issue, so I don’t think that I’ll have to be strict about it- just keep it out of my regular meals.

What’s Not Going On:

Hubs and I have decided to not go to Disney World this year. We’re trying to save up enough to jump over the final hurdle in our debt. Once it’s all paid off, we intend to celebrate by going back into debt. No, seriously. We’re probably going down to WDW and having an awesome trip to celebrate- and we are saving up some cash for the trip, but it’s not likely to be enough to pay for the whole thing. Still, it’s the thought that counts, right? And after that, we’re going to look at buying a house. We were kind of looking now because, well, face it, the market isn’t going to get much lower unless total disaster strikes, and decent homes are now approaching our budget level. But we’re just not thrilled enough with the homes in our current price range, so we’ll have to wait until we’re totally out of debt and hope that the market hasn’t spiked or that the interest rates haven’t gone up.

Still, my sites are doing well (tax season is always good for my main niche), and life is pretty much good. I could use more sleep, but I’m hardly alone in that.

1. I got back from Walt Disney World about a month ago. It was awesome, but it was HOT. As in we were in the park that has the least amount of shade on a 92 degree day with 92% humidity. Yeah. Luckily, my husband has finally agreed that we’re never going down for our anniversary again AND that he promised to never complain about the cold in Jan/Feb when we’re in Florida.

2. My husband has taken to a liberal use of powder (all kinds- baby powder, athlete’s foot powder, Gold Bond medicated… you name it, he uses it) in our master half bath. When I commented on the now white floor, his response was “Yes, I like to call it my…(yes, he really paused for dramatic effect) powder room.”

3. I can now be called a card carrying health nut. I’ve switched to coconut oil for almost all of my frying needs, with the only exception being when I really think butter or bacon fat is just too perfect. I am now drinking raw (unpasteurized) whole milk, and even enjoying it when it starts to go sour. I’m tossing all of my table salt and replacing it all with sea salt (if you get the right kind, it even tastes better), using my cast iron skillet as much as possible, and have just this week soaked grains and sprouted pinto beans to reduce the phytic acid in both. I’ve managed to find high fructose corn syrup and soy free tortillas, and despite the huge list of preservatives, consider that a major victory. I’ve found a local farmer’s market that sells grass fed/pastured meats, raw milk, high heat/short time pasteurized unhomogenized milk, and farm fresh eggs.  And I spend much time every day reading Kelly the Kitchen Kop because, well, it’s interesting and she’s nice and there’s a lot of good information that’s easy to understand on it. I’ve been wanting to give her a quality back link, but I can’t think of any terms that she might be trying for… And, as usual, when I went to her site to get an idea, I got sucked into more interesting posts. So, check out her politically incorrect nutrition blog, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you about getting sucked in for hours on end!

4. I had the misfortune of seeing one of my co-workers doing the Macarena. *shudder*

5. I really need to post more often!

6. Oh, and about that whole coconut oil/full fat milk thing? Yeah, I lost 13lbs in about 2 weeks.

So, anyway, I was thinking about Mrs. Winterbourne and the fact that Ricki Lake is a really lousy actress, and how if the movie were made today it would probably have Nia Vardalos from My Big Fat Greek Wedding in Ricki Lake’s part.  So I was thinking about that and it occured to me that she can’t help being funny. This in itself is not bad, but I don’t think it would work with Brendan Fraser’s hotness bumbling humor. She’d totally upstage him. But then I realized that they wouldn’t use Brendan Fraser, they’d likely choose Matthew McConaughey. And that would suck, because Matthew McConaughey is neither hot or funny (sorry Matt, but the truth hurts).

So then you have the humor/drama parts totally switched and TOTALLY out of sync. The great thing about Mrs. Winterbourne is that if you don’t have the right sense of humor, the movie is a total snoozefest. You up the quality of the acting, humor, or drama, and it totally throws the whole thing off and it becomes another loser of a movie that DOESN’T have its devoted fans. Like Monster-in-Law.

Is there a point to this post? Absolutely not. Well, maybe you could say that it’s a good thing that classics are classics and to be grateful that they were made when they were and not to mess with them? Or maybe “timing is everything”. But most likely “Lori has lousy taste in movies”. I could probably come up with something really insightful and tie it into novel writing, but honestly? That’d be too much work, and I have a brand new Wii to play with. Yay!

***OK, so the reason I was thinking about Mrs. Winterbourne is that I was thinking about cars- specifically how Lexus and BMW are actually in the Buick class and not the Cadillac class even though most people get that mixed up. Well, my favorite line from that movie was as the chauffeur opens the door to the family’s Rolls Royce, she looks in and says something like “Wow, a Rolls Royce! This is like the Cadillac of automobiles!”. The chauffeur looks at her and calmly says “No, madame, the Cadillac is the Cadillac of automobiles. This is a Rolls Royce.” And from there my brain traveled on.

Hubs and I are sick of renting. Sick of having to call in the maintenance guy to fix the crappy equipment that comes with the place, sick of the horribly drafty doors and windows, the literally hollow baseboards and trim (I kid you not, what wethought was solid wood was in fact rotted out leaving the form of the original wood in the paint so that it looked totally normal until we accidentally pushed too hard on it and it caved in), the mysterious leak from somewhere around the tub that leaks through the ceiling in the kitchen and INTO the ceiling light’s cover. The kitchen faucet that can only be turned off by pushing down on the center of the thing rather than the actual handle, and now we just had to have a part replaced in one of the toilets to stop the jackhammer noise that woke me from a dead sleep 2 hours after I went to bed after a long day. I’ve already talked (at length) about the neighbors, and now the CO2 alarm goes off every time I make chicken or turkey broth.  I’d mention more, but I don’t like to complain. (insert tongue into cheek here)

So hubs and I found a cute little end of unit townhome in an awesome location. New community, immaculate exterior and yard, ditto for all the neighbors. Only problem is that it was a 2 bedroom 1 bath, and for all of its shortcomings, our current home is 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath plus an additional toilet (weird set up). So, we sat on it for a few days, unsure whether we should apply for a mortgage, set up a viewing, etc. A few days later, we looked at the listing again and it was under agreement.

No big deal. We really liked the house from the outside, but really? were we ready?

We’re still not sure. But after this weekend’s incident with the jackhammering toilet, we’re a little more ready than we were. My friend wrote a post on waterproofing basement walls which is a good reminder that not all is rosy in the home owning world. I would hope that a home we buy would be in better condition than this place, but at least the fix is free when you rent!

In the meantime, my internet marketing income as well as the posts like the one just before this is starting to creep up. It’s not enough to make the difference between home ownership and renting yet, but it’s getting closer. I just need to keep hammering away at my sites, and eventually we should be able to start looking at homes that are in the slums and actually have all the amenities we require. I hope.

Granted, in truth Lady Catherine meets our current understanding of the word, but at the time, condescension wasn’t an offensive description. Quite the opposite.

In America and most of the modern world, the term condescension is quite an insult. It means that the condescending person seems to think so highly of themselves that they have to lower themselves to our level. And that’s offensive to suggest that we’re at a lower level.

But think of when there was such a thing as rank. A social system where your rank dictated what you could wear, what you could do, your power in society, how you could marry, and so on. In a social system such as that, for a powerful person to condescend to the lower level was the utmost in gentility, kindness, thoughtfulness of those in a lower status than they. Not that it could never be considered an insult- a person of equal or lower rank behaving as though they were condescending from a higher rank would be the ultimate of fools. Which is why we use it exclusively as an insult today- after all, no one is higher than anyone else now. Even the President is the servant of the people- perhaps we should condescend to him?

But the truth of the matter is, we are still impressed by those who seem to truly condescend to us, even if we don’t call it by that word. Now we say “S/he’s just like a regular person” or “They’re so normal!” or “They’re just like us” and count it a compliment. Think of all the stories you hear of someone meeting a really pleasant Hollywood star, a rock god, or famous politician? How about when you work at a company where the boss is just “one of the boys”?

Rank still exists, condescension in the original still exists, but we’ve used it so much as an insult that it can no longer be considered a compliment. It’s just a shame that unless you write historical fiction, even writers are constrained by modern society’s norms. Oh well.

#1- Surprised Kitty

You’ll probably think that I found this video through DoshDosh’s tweet- you’d be wrong. I actually saw it on Yahoo yesterday, but DoshDosh tweeted the link today at a really good time for me to copy it out saving me time. Soooooo cuuuuuute.

#2- Which Way Did It Go, George?

This cracked me up. Also from Yahoo, I saw my husband watching this vid of a football player (Florida State Lineman), who didn’t move. I don’t know anything about football, so I can’t explain it, but it’s pretty durn funny in my opinion.

#3- What Do Red Foxes Eat?

Yesterday (or maybe it was the day before?) I posted a link to this video. My favorite Make Money Online blogger filmed his 7 year old daughter hand feeding a red fox. Apparently, foxes eat hamburger patties. Pretty, pretty fox.

In one case, my favorite MMO blogger posted his first video ever- and it so happens to be his 7 year old daughter (cute) hand feeding a red fox. Apparently they made the mistake of feeding a wolf once, and ended up with one as a pet for 15 years, and still haven’t learned their lesson. And since my married name ends in “Fox”, I’ve been a little obsessive about them for the past few years. And this one is beautiful- fluffy, gorgeous fur, and barely even skittish! The video is a bit long, but if you like foxes as much as I do, it’s worth watching. And if you don’t like foxes as much as I do, it’s still pretty cool to see a fox eat right out of a little girl’s hand! So, if you’ve ever wondered what do foxes eat, follow the link to watch the video. It looks like a hamburger patty to me.

Secondly, a good friend of mine who lives in Toronto (I just realized that 2 of the 3 people I’m posting about here are Canadians… Hm… maybe I should consider moving up north?) just had a horrific time with a local business (Crystal Bath at 2839 Kingston Road, Toronto) over her order for a bathroom vanity (Toronto). This is downright horrible customer service, and apparently the company did a lousy job on the remodel as well. Follow either link for more information on this story.

And lastly, Allyn Hanes’ beer review blog is live! He talks about beer in an entertaining way, doesn’t get all snooty about it (in fact, the regular joke is about people who sniff beer before drinking it- he’ll often sniff his and then say “smells like beer!”), and really describes the beer in a way that someone who isn’t already a connoisseur can understand. I don’t even drink beer, but I love watching his review videos, because not only is he fun to watch, but his background in landscaping gives him tons of info to pull from when describing a flavor. For example, in his review of Moylander’s India Pale Ale (he reviews several IPA beers), he mentions how people refer to a “piney” flavor. Since he’s a landscaper by trade, he was able to explain that what people were tasting was actually kind of a cedar mulch and arborvitae in the beer.

Since I’m no fan of hops, IPA’s are definitely not down my alley, but I was fascinated to find out that flavors in beer can be as complex as they are in a good wine. And Allyn presents it all as the next door neighbor chatting over the fence and offering you a cold one. (BTW, a good friend of mine modified Allyn’s theme- so if you love it and want to hire him, he comments there as “Forest” or you can ask me for his info).

So, I was talking to a friend via Skype and I started pestering about Bakugan. My nephew is totally into this, and since I have no idea what it’s about I had to do some research. Since I had to do the research anyway, I decided to take advantage of it and build a lens on it.

So, I’m chatting away about Bakugan board games, 700g Bakugan (seriously, I have no idea what this means, I think it’s a power thing?), and my friend asks me what Bakugan is. So, in a case of the blind leading the blind, I tell him it’s a cross between Transformers and Pokemon. Then I tell him that I’m too young for Transformers and too old for Pokemon. He asks how old I am, I say 29 turning 30 in like 12 days, and he says he’s 27 and HE’s not too young for Transformers, and I said “Yeah, but I’m a girl.”. So his response is “My Little Ponies?”, and mine is an embarrassed yes.

Next thing you know, he posts a link to this video.

If you don’t know who Rammstein is, they’re an awesome German band that apparently writes songs about incest, which is sick. But it’s in German, so no one really knows if that’s a rumor or truth unless they actually speak German and then you have to work on the basis that they’re not lying. Their Du Hast was insanely popular a few years back, and I still love it.

Update: I just found Spongebob singing Rammstein’s Du Hast. So had to include this.