While I’ve been slacking off on my attempt to read the WHOLE Bible the WHOLE way through, when I was clipping along at a great pace, I also was copying down my favorite verses. Not the usual “blessed are the” or promises of a land flowing with milk and honey, or whatever *most* people would claim as their favorite verses. No, I have issues, so my favorites are the ones that made me giggle.  Here’s what I have so far (sometimes they’re only funny when taken out of context, but, whatevs).

2 Chronicles 4:4 “…And all their back parts pointed inward.”

Psalm 40:15 “… who say to me, ‘aha, aha!’” 

Proverbs 14:24 “But the foolishness of fools is folly.”  You don’t say…

Isaiah 26:18 “We have, as it were, brought forth wind;”   Well, at least you were honest…

Titus 1:12-13 “One of them, a prophet of their own, said, ‘Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.’ This testimony is true.”  Daaaayum, Martha, why you gotta be like that?

Jeremiah 46:20 “Egypt is a very pretty heifer.”   Backhanded compliment?

2 Chronicles 21:20  “…and, to no one’s sorrow, departed.”  Ouch.

Isaiah 37:36  “there were the corpses- all dead.”  Er, good?

PARENTAL WARNING ON THIS ONE

Ezekiel 23:20 “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”  Yeah, and they claim Song of Songs is graphic.

2 Responses to “Oh, Bible, You So Silly”
  1. I clearly have issues too, for these may be my all time favorite quotes EVER.

  2. :-D The Titus one gets me every time. It’s the “This testimony is true.” part. I just lose it.

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