While I’ve been slacking off on my attempt to read the WHOLE Bible the WHOLE way through, when I was clipping along at a great pace, I also was copying down my favorite verses. Not the usual “blessed are the” or promises of a land flowing with milk and honey, or whatever *most* people would claim as their favorite verses. No, I have issues, so my favorites are the ones that made me giggle. Here’s what I have so far (sometimes they’re only funny when taken out of context, but, whatevs).
2 Chronicles 4:4 “…And all their back parts pointed inward.”
Psalm 40:15 “… who say to me, ‘aha, aha!’”
Proverbs 14:24 “But the foolishness of fools is folly.” You don’t say…
Isaiah 26:18 “We have, as it were, brought forth wind;” Well, at least you were honest…
Titus 1:12-13 “One of them, a prophet of their own, said, ‘Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.’ This testimony is true.” Daaaayum, Martha, why you gotta be like that?
Jeremiah 46:20 “Egypt is a very pretty heifer.” Backhanded compliment?
2 Chronicles 21:20 “…and, to no one’s sorrow, departed.” Ouch.
Isaiah 37:36 “there were the corpses- all dead.” Er, good?
PARENTAL WARNING ON THIS ONE
Ezekiel 23:20 “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.” Yeah, and they claim Song of Songs is graphic.