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While researching some information for my novel, I came across an interesting glossary of sexual health terms. Um, Some of the answers just really tickled my funny bone, and rather than send you all to this extremely long page (and I’m not sayin’ what website it was- I swear it was research!), I’m just going to paste the funny ones in here.  If you’re REALLY easily offended, you might want to leave. I’m not putting anything too strong in here, but, fair warning.

hysteria
A mythical emotional disorder ascribed only to women for about 2,500 years. In ancient Greece, it was ascribed to not being pregnant often enough. In Roman times, it was ascribed to not having enough sex.  In Medieval times, and colonial times in North America, it was ascribed to not having enough or sufficient orgasms. In Victorian times and during the early 20^th century, it was also ascribed to too much intellectual stimulation and became an excuse for denying education and voting rights to women. At the beginning of the 20^th century, U.S. doctors invented the vibrator to treat hysteria. They brought women to orgasm with vibrators, which would supposedly calm them down and keep them from becoming hysterical. See “wandering uterus.”

Wow. That’s the last time I tell someone they’re being hysterical or referring to something as hysterical. Seriously.  Though you girls can use this to give your men hints. And it was developed by doctors? For medical treatment? Yeesh. Ya learn new things every day!

wandering uterus
A mythical emotional disorder first described in ancient Athens by Hippocrates, who is considered the “father of medicine.” Hippocrates taught that, unless a woman was pregnant often enough, her uterus would wander around inside her body looking for a fetus to inhabit it. As the uterus rose inside her, she would become hysterical. If she did not have sex with a man and become pregnant, the uterus would rise into her throat and strangle her. See “hysteria.”

Bwahahahahaha! I’m sorry, I just think this is hilarious. Granted, this is me with all our modern medical knowledge and all, but… seriously! And notice how it was always men that came up with these theories?

merkin
A wig for the genitals, used from the 16^th to the 18^th centuries by people who had lost their pubic hair due to small pox or scarlet fever. Now used to describe decorative patches worn over the genitals.

I so, so, so badly want to write a historical now, just so that I can use this! I also need to find a searchable database of Shakespeare’s works because I’m certain I’ve seen him use the term “merkin” in an insult before.

normophilia ­
Sexual preferences that are considered common or “normal” according to social norms.

Really? Really? Apparently because every possible deviant sexual behavior and preference is so widely accepted now, we actually have to define and name non-deviant behavior. Uhhhhh….

You know what I can’t get enough of looking at but never ever buy? Address labels. I kid you not.

You know how you get those flyers in the mail with all kinds of check designs, and address labels, and checkbooks? Yeah, I will pore over those with agonizing detail…. and then not order any of them. I have no idea why this is. I didn’t have a book of checks with my correct name on it for about 2 1/2 years after I got married. And then? I got as far as picking out the address labels, and decided that I might as well just hand write my name on all of the 3 envelopes that I send out every year.

However, a good friend of mine taught me a trick several years ago, and this is a good reason to actually pick out some good designs- every time she lent out a book that she wanted back? She’d stick address labels inside the cover of the book. Brilliant! And now I have a stack of more than a dozen books to lend to a friend, and I’ve got to get to ordering!

I’m really not a fan of most non-fiction, and definitely not of self-help books. However, I was offered a chance to review You Were Born For This (7 Keys to a Life of Predictable Miracles) by Bruce Wilkinson and David Kopp. I’ve read Wilkinson’s The Prayer of Jabez, and, while a little long for what is essentially a page of information, I found it to be useful. So, expecting to get a different version of The Purpose Driven Life, and thinking that I’d be able to read it while on jury duty, I took the opportunity.

Now, I just want to reiterate that I am NOT a fan of non-fic or self-help. A friend of mine who is a fan of both is also reviewing this book, and she absolutely loves it. Possibly the fact that I’m trying to read it during a time that I would normally be reading fluff books instead of while bored at jury duty is influencing my feelings on this book. Unfortunately, the feeling that is most pronounced to me is… boredom.

While I thought the tiny little book The Prayer of Jabez was too long for its content, I feel that You Were Born For This should be the size of The Prayer of Jabez. Seriously. I also have problems with anyone who prescribes or suggests steps or formulas for anything to do with their walk with God. Jesus came to release us from the law, no? Then why is everyone trying to shove us back in there?

Granted, I truly do understand that this book is not intended to be a formula for miracles. I realize that the “keys” are really just totally opening yourself to let God take over your life, as you’re supposed to do. And the miracles he’s talking about are not the making the lame to walk and the blind to see kind of miracles. However, every time he mentions miracles, all I can think of is that people were healed when Paul’s shadow fell on them. Was Paul concentrating really hard on listening to what God told him to do when that happened? Maybe. I mean, we ARE supposed to listen to God. But what it really was, was the Holy Spirit moving through him.

I don’t know, I realize that where I’m coming from, and where Mr. Wilkinson is coming from is not the same place. It IS an uplifting book, and it can certainly help you to decide to let God take over. If you’re the sort of reader who appreciates someone taking the long way round a subject and repeating the same thing over and over but in different ways, you would appreciate this book. But if you’re the sort of person (like me) who tends to say “get on with it already!”, then, I’d give this a miss.

If you’re interested, you can order the book directly through Random House, or click the book photo above to go to Amazon to order.