I’ve been tagged by the lovely Kathy Kehrli over at Screw You! for this helpful meme. The goal of this meme is to give you, the readers, hints and tips to help you become more effective bloggers.

Yeah, I know. I couldn’t keep a straight face either. Kathy is actually lovely, but the rest is BS (and I don’t mean Bachelor of Science). Ok, the point of this meme is actually to offer bad blogging advice. Evil blogging advice. Advice that is sure to land your blog (and those who follow the advice therein) in Google’s dung heap.

1. U R My BFF, L8er! - Typing is hard. So is reading. So when you’re ready to post, use digital shorthand wherever possible. The longer the post, the shorter your words should be. Besides, you have to stay current, or lose out to the competition. Fur Realz!

2. If It’s On The Internet, It Must Be Free – Hey, if they didn’t want you using their articles, they wouldn’t put it online. Copyright only extends to print media anyway, so just don’t copy out of a magazine. Unless you found it on their website.

3. Ignore Your Readers – Nobody really wants your response to their comments. That’s why they’re commenting. They’re responding to you! Anyway, they’re either agreeing with you (naturally), or they’re too brainless to know how right you are and are attempting to argue with you. Don’t encourage them.

4. And She Said “Doo-winkle!” – Fill your posts with inside jokes, and make sure that the comment section is filled with your friends bantering back and forth about said joke. If an “outsider” dares poke their profile into your sacred space, ignore them entirely. This is the only exception to rule #3.

5. Spoil Alert! – Not. Do whatever it takes to get through hot new movies and books as soon as possible and post the spoilers and endings. Don’t bother posting up spoiler alerts- if they don’t want to know, then they shouldn’t be on the internet. Besides, within days you will be hugely famous for being the first blogger to post such necessary information live! Remember that guy in France that got busted for translating Deathly Hallows and posted it on his website? Me neither, but he was famous for a day or so.

As for my taggees: Travis Erwin (sorry I haven’t done your meme yet- I’ll get to it!), Mom & More, Wolf (since this seems right up your alley), and C. J. – hey you did say you were looking for post ideas that your readers would find interesting!